I don’t really know where to start with Baby. It won some literary prize and in years to come will no doubt be regarded as a cult modern classic. That’s the only reason I’m giving it 3 stars instead of 2 in case I am missing something. It’s a book about two (one young and one slightly less young), self absorbed and stupid people. And there’s the rub. Had one of the protagonists been an intelligent, vicious and evil psychopath, there might have been either a fitting comeuppance or a redemption. But Cynthia in particular is too stupid for either. She is obsessed with gym instructor Anaheera – beautiful but also pretty dumb – so after a series of rather silly encounters they run away with Cynthia’s dog Snot-Head ‘in tow’ and buy a boat named Baby. Who the hell calls a dog Snot-Head?? SPOILER ALERT – then because Anaheera isn’t keen on the dog Cynthia leaves it somewhere for someone else to find. By now I loathe her even more. In fact I was so worried about the dog (hopefully rescued and renamed) that I nearly stopped reading. But the dog is never mentioned again except Cynthia occasionally saying she misses him. Then go back and find the dog you imbecile!! The two women live together on the boat eating beans and biscuits (I’m a Celebrity anyone?) until someone dies (not Cynthia unfortunately) and a man named Gordon arrives on the scene who has sex with Anaheera. Cynthia is mad with jealousy and so it goes on. The book is liberally peppered with bodily functions, which are not even remotely interesting and Cynthia does everything to draw attention back to herself. I’m not making this sound very good am I? If this is a reflection of young people today then God help us all. People die and no-one cares. Maybe that’s why we never hear about the dog again. Because no-one cares.
And as for the reviewer who says it’s ‘hilarious’. Show me one funny paragraph. Or even one sentence….
Many thanks to the Pigeonhole for giving me the opportunity to read Baby along with the other Pigeons.

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