And you thought burning the turkey was the worst that could happen…

Christmas is all about lists. To do lists. Shopping lists. Lists to bloody Santa. And doesn’t Anna Johnson know it. Waking up on Christmas Eve after the annual Johnson party, she’s hungover, exhausted and really sick and tired of Christmas already.

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All she wants is to tick the last things off her endless list and sit down with the world’s biggest glass of wine. But apparently that’s not going to happen any time soon because now her list looks like this:

1. Wrap the presents
2. Peel the potatoes
3. Stuff the turkey
4. Get rid of the dead body

A mysterious death in her home really is the last thing she has time for right now, but with police officers who could double as the Chuckle Brothers and a husband and two kids intent on watching Christmas films, it looks like it’s up to her to find out what the hell’s gone on.

Oh – and figure out what to do with the body before her in-laws arrive.

Happy bloody Christmas indeed.

My Review

This was hilarious. At times the body in the larder was almost incidental. Who killed Colin was largely irrelevant – he was a smarmy d*”k anyway – except that it gave Anna, husband Oli and best friend Jennie something to focus on apart from the potatoes and the tablescape (whatever that is). The book is often just Anna’s rant against all things Christmas, her snooty, judgemental mother-in-law, ridiculously high expectations, and many other things.

I’m not Anna’s generation. I’m the mother-in-law, the grandmother and the babysitter, but there was still so much I could identify with. I’m a list maker, obsessively so. I think the more times I make a list and write it down, the more chance I will remember what’s on it and even do stuff without referring to it. Fat chance. Luckily I’ve never had to make a list of potential murder suspects.

As far as Christmas is concerned, I am happy for you to invite me to lunch. I don’t care if you have a tablescape off Pinterest, the chairs don’t match, the plates are chipped, you had to borrow next door’s cutlery and there’s a body in the….. (well maybe the last one). It’s about family and friends, plenty of food (I’m vegetarian remember if you’re asking, but I’m happy with the cauliflower cheese) and a glass or two of vino. Prosecco is just as good as real Champagne and I’ll bring the Baileys. It’s a lesson Anna will learn by the end of the book, as she realises what’s important.

Her attempts (with help from Oli, Jennie and teenage son Ben) to solve the murder is like The Thursday Murder Club for millennials. Or Agatha Christie’s The Body In The Library – who has a library in their house nowadays anyway – but this time it’s The Body In The Larder. Come to think of it who has a walk-in larder? Jennie finds it useful, but that’s for another reason.

Happy Bloody Christmas is an entertaining, easy read – just don’t get so involved you burn the turkey.

Many thanks to @annecater for inviting me to be part of #RandomThingsTours

About the Author

Jo Middleton lives in Somerset with her daughter, a disobedient golden retriever and three cats, all named after fictional detectives. Jo has a passion for mysteries, loves escape rooms, and longs to capture a cave full of smugglers. She is also a blogger, author, copywriter and one half of the It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere podcast.